ALT TAB: 28/52

 Another perfectly fantastic summer week.  
Found a new {to me}Korean restaurant that takes the cake {or kimchi} for most authentic and yummy.  
Major Ben came to town so now the fun can officially begin, and the weather just keeps on being awesome.
Gorgeous weather enjoyed at the park roller blading, bbq-ing, scootering, pretty much all things 'ing'. 
And the highlight of highlights, yesterday was the last time I'll be in the office for more than a week.  Hear that?  That was a huge sigh of relief.  Not that I don't like my job.  Who wouldn't rather be at the lake than at work?  You're right.  Silly question.
 I learned something the hard way this week.  I used to be just like any other thrill seeking kid, running from ride to ride, can't get enough speed or upside down-ness in my life.  I was doing my best to summon that kid in me again as I went from ride to ride but with each swirling dive and swoop it became more and more apparent that those days are long gone for me.  Or maybe it was just a fluke?  Maybe I don't have to permanently join that other camp?  You know the one.  The "I'll just watch you have fun, because that's plenty fun for me" camp.
It was all fun and games.  Until it wasn't.
And so I sat on the dirty pavement keeping vigil over the lunch bag, hats, sunglasses and my sad sagging will to live. The world spun around me while I sat perfectly still while everyone else rode the rides and I lamented my lost equilibrium and the harsh reality that my roller coaster riding days may be over. 
 But even if I may have to admit I'm a ferris wheel, merry go round kind of girl now, at least I can still fly up and down the canyon and get a thrill out of that. 
In typical form, I refuse to learn another life lesson and persist in fighting my natural habitat.  It's a common occurrence in my normally peaceful existence when I periodically shake things up with unanswerable questions about my place in the world and what may or may not be looming on the horizon just out of my reach.  

I've sat myself down right between two warring states of mind for a breather.  The chill state that firmly believes everything happens for a reason and right when it should regardless of my meddling, worrying ways.  
And the other more obnoxious do it yourself state that nags at me a little more loudly that if I truly want something, go ahead and make it happen.  
My mind is where patience and persistence come to duke it out.

I was hoping for some solace and peace from all that soul searching clogging up my mind last night.  But instead of finding it where I had planned, we ended up eating chinese food and playing cards with my family.  That brought another kind of peace entirely and I had a good laugh at myself when I opened my very appropriate fortune cookie:

"Be prepared to modify your plan."


  1. you write SO well! have a WONDERFUL vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Well, at least your life will be what you purposely molded and not what you happened to wake and find yourself in. Don't second guess yourself. Let go, be free, and point yourself in the wanted direction. Because at the end of it all, I still want to be able to recognize you.

  3. Hope you can find peace of mind and heart. Sorry about the loss of equilibrium. But there are other thrills with growing older.