Last year as I tracked my time in weekly segments I could tell you with certainty which week of the year it was at any given moment.  Biting my time off in weekly chunks was as organized and methodical as this little organizer could dream for and I felt a sense of accomplishment when I could neatly tie up my year in 52 weeks.

But as with so many other wonderful discoveries this year, this other count down has been so much more fun.  16 days.  16 days until my life 'literally changes over night' as the handsome man that will be at the center of that change said over pizzadias the other night.  What is a pizzadia, you may be wondering.  Come visit us sometime, we'll make you one in three minutes flat and I promise you amazed tastebros.

I'm sure it doesn't take a stretch of imagination to wonder what may be be keeping me from writing with regularity.  You  might be so generous to give me easy excuses that run along the theme of she's in love, planning a wedding, nesting, and much too distracted to write.  Which are all true statements, and all very good excuses, if any are needed.  But I've {mostly} gotten over the guilt that comes with journaling in any form, because if it is my story I'm telling then I can choose to leave out bits.  You know, add a little intrigue and mystery.  Nobody really wants to be an open book anyway.  And really, what I'd write is much too replete with the kind of details that only mean what they really mean to the two people caught up in it.  So it isn't so much a lack of time that has kept me away.  As busy as a day can be, there are still quiet moments of reflection like this one spent on my warm nest three floors up in my beloved Pollyanna observing the lightening shades of grey of the new Saturday happening outside.  I don't feel flustered or out of breath or wishing for extra hours.  Just extra senses to feel these moments all the more.  For once, writing doesn't seem to be the right outlet to capture what is in my heart.  I rather just be.  No way could I possibly get it down in words.  I'd merely scrape the surface and drive myself batty in the trying.

I both love and loathe that there is an expiration date for engagement.  To be engaged.  To be so excited.  So sure of so many happy memories to come.  To have our whole lives ahead of us.  To be in the before.  With so much looking forward to look forward to in no way would I like to find myself suspended forever in this state of before.  But I do want to capture it.  Breathe it in.  Enjoy every slow moving minute before life does it's thing and speeds up and before I know it I'm looking back at this time wondering how I didn't spend every spare moment just soaking it in.

So back to soaking it in while I listen to the day begin with aliens in the radiator doing their thing, my parents quietly talking, and my 16 day fiance wrapped up like a caterpillar on the sofa bed hopefully dreaming of something lovely like chips and salsa and not something like coming to the nuisance.


  1. I can sum the whole experience in just one mundane word.....ANTICIPATION! That is the delicious feeling and we all treasure it in one form or another. I am enjoying the anticipation of seeing you as an ethereally lovely bride.

  2. Eeeeeek! So excited for you! Keep soaking it in. :)